sleepless night

I like to sleep and i can easily fall asleep.
I can sleep anywhere and anytime.
Nevertheless, i couldn't sleep last night.

26/4/2009
A sleepless night for me
even after my exams
why???
it's coincidentally related to what my studied for KDO exam
- communication, conflicts and decision making.

Communication
Many people say that I'm good in communication
and i can communicate with anybody no matter how young or how old he/she is
but i can't deny the fact that communication breakdown happened last night
i did not know what to say and how to react
i just knew to listen and ...
so useless i was yesterday:(

Conflicts
Intrapersonal conflict:
i can not make up my mind
i have asked myself what i want since five months ago
but the funny thing is i do know how to answer myself
I'm a thinker
Maybe i just know how to think
but don't know how to act upon it
how useless I am:(

Interpersonal conflicts:
There's no way to avoid interpersonal conflicts
because nobody thinks exactly like you...
This is what happened to me as well
I hate conflicts
and i chose not to face it (Neglected the conflicts) till yesterday
I hate myself for ignoring the conflicts
I hate myself for being so useless:(


Decison Making
I used to be decisive
I knew what to do and what i wanted last time
Unluckily, i'm not anymore now
i'm just another indecisive girl in this world
sometimes i want this
and sometimes i want that
i do not know what i want actually
so lousy i am:(
i know what the problem is
i know how to analyse the problem
i know the alternative solutions
but i still cannot make the final decision...
I'm useless, right:(

but what i feel like doing right now is to wake myself up and face the reality!!!

no more exam...yeah!!!

i sat two exams today and they were the last two papers which i had to sit in this four-year TESL course. Imagine, final semester in uni, final exam in uni after four years of struggling here!!! relieved after everything...

nope, not completely relieved yet because still have to wait for the results and see whether i pass this semester and graduate... hopefully, i can pass this semester and attend my convocation in the coming August...

TELIians farewell dinner

We went to Hot Piper Cafe in Sunway Pyramid last Friday to have our farewell gathering. Not all of us joined the gathering. Nevertheless, 24 of us still had a great time there. We were very noisy in the cafe because we kept on chatting, joking, recalling how we knew each other four years ago and taking photos. We did not care about what others said. We stayed in our own world that night.

We had a gift exchange session which was determined by lucky draw. i was so lucky to get a gift from Tracy who comes from Perak She is really a Leng Lui from Perak!!! in contrast, i'm only a girl who is from Ipoh but not a leng lui...sigh:( haha, how about my gift? Karen was the lucky one who received my gift..muahaha:)

I thought i would manage to control myself from dropping tears but i failed to do so. This is because i was influenced by Anantha and Ziadatul who burst into tears when we hugged each other. *Those who know me well would know that i easily cry...

Last but not least, i must say thanks to Benjemin, Ching Pey and others who involved in planning this gathering. thanks